Since my last update, the Thompson family has experienced a few ups and downs.
The first most obvious one is that we are no longer expecting a baby. We found out on May 10 that I miscarried, and though we are still unsure of the medical reasoning behind it, we are learning (and trying to learn) to continue to trust the Lord through everything. This is our second, my third, miscarriage, so for me it was (and still is) a whirlwind of emotions that are difficult to sort out or understand on some days. I don't question "Why?" for the sake of knowing why God chose to allow it to happen. I know that I will know that either in the future if He chooses to reveal it to me or one day when I can ask Him face to face. But I still struggle with wondering "Why?" when it comes to the medical/scientific aspect of it. I have to consciously tell myself often not to worry about whether there is something wrong with me physically or not, what I could have done wrong to hurt the pregnancy, etc. We will be seeing a specialized doctor in the future to see if we can get some answers to those questions, but my natural tendency is to want the answers and solutions right now. So, the Lord is still teaching me to wait, have patience, trust Him.
Alot of people have asked how I am doing with it, and honestly it's sometimes hard to answer that question, because I feel like I don't know. Coincidentally, there is no prescribed way to mourn the loss of an unborn child. Even though I have experienced this loss twice before, this time was so much harder because I was almost 12 weeks along when I found out and I was so confident that I was in the clear. I also feel this silly obligation to make people think that everything is ok. Even though ultimately everything
is ok in the sense that God has us in His hands and we are "moving on" (if there is such a thing?)...especially in the beginning, everything was
not ok emotionally with me. I feel weird even saying that now, but it's true. Now that some time has passed, most of my days are very good and thankfully for Steven, my crying episodes and unexplained mood swings have all but come to an end. I still get sad every time I see a pregnant woman or a baby, or really a child in general, but I have a peace at the same time knowing that my time will come. I also have recently made a practice of reminding myself that this time in my life that I have right now is not only valuable, it's special and I will never be able to get it back. There will never be another time when I am young, without children and able to have the free time that I do because of my husband working hard to allow me to stay home. This has helped tremendously, along with the outpouring of love, support and prayers from our family and friends. We thought at first that we would not announce the pregnancy until after the first trimester (like we did with our last one, which I miscarried early on in October), but for this reason alone, I am so glad that we did. I just know that it would have been much harder to go through without the encouragement that so many wonderful people in our lives have given. We will be trying again for another baby, though the jury is still out on when that will be.
On a much lighter and more positive note, there have been some great things happening around here, too. Steven has continued to excel in his position at Willard Heat & Air in Forney. As I've said before, leaving the car business to work with them has been such a blessing for our family. Christopher finished up the seventh grade last week, and he is quite happy to stay in "summer mode" as I call it. Chris and I had our first summer hangout the other day while Steven was at work and it was a great time. I am really looking forward to the extra time I will get to spend with that kid this summer. He is amazing. He also has his last baseball game of the season tonight. We have had so much fun cheering him on this year! We also moved at the end of May from Dallas out to the "country"as I call it, and I could not be more happy about it! We are in Heartland now, which is a masterplanned community between Forney and Crandall. I could list about a million things I love about our home and neighborhood, but I will spare you the hysterics. Once all of our back-ordered new furniture arrives and we are completely settled in, you will have to come see for yourself!
I hope your summer has kicked off as nicely as ours has by now. Texas' is in full-swing, as we are all sunburning and sweating to death within minutes of being outside. Brings happiness to this Vegas desert girl's little heart!
Until next time, be blessed!
